SAD
You’re feeling: Down?
Blue?
Hurt?
Despair?
Because you have experienced a loss (past or present):
A tangible loss of person or thing?
A conceptual loss?
A situational loss: something or someone has changed?
Yes No
MANAGING SAD:
THE DESIRE FOR SAME
The feeling of sadness is related to the experience of loss. Sadness is experienced when you anticipate loss, imagine loss, or when you have actually suffered a loss. There are qualities of helplessness and hopelessness that accompany sadness, which can develop over time into full-blown depression. Loss occurs in the macro and the micro levels of our lives. There are big losses such as death, divorce, and termination from a job. Then there are smaller losses like broken vases, stolen bicycles, and favorite sunglasses thrown out by accident with the garbage. Sadness can be experienced on any level of awareness. There are also the intangible, or conceptual losses in life. Not only can we experience the loss of things or people we value, we can conceptually feel the loss of hope, freedom, future dreams, and trust in others. Regardless of the magnitude, level of awareness, or form, the origin of sad still has to do with loss.
To the extent that mad is about wanting change, sadness is about wanting things to stay the same. Sadness and anger are opposites in this respect. Underlying the experience of sadness you will find that you want to maintain the status quo. Fundamentally, you become sad when you experience a loss. If you take that a step further, you would probably like to reverse the loss, and maintain the former experience.
CONTINUE WITH SAD BACK TO FOUR FEELINGS INTRO
The Cognitive Challenge for SAD.
1. Identify precisely the loss you are concerned with.
(Suggestion: Write it down, or clearly make a mental note.)
CONTINUE
2. Identify precisely what you are trying to maintain.
(Suggestion: Write it down, or clearly make a mental note.)
CONTINUE
3. When I consider the big picture...
is what I am trying to maintain integrity-based...
and...
CONTINUE
a) Realistic? YES or NO
b) Reasonable? YES or NO
c) Fair? YES or NO
d) Important? YES or NO
CHOICE
Your NO response to the Cognitive Challenge means a choice is needed to move forward. Choose either...
1) Go to Internal Resolutions – Here you learn to change how you think and possibly make belief system changes.
– OR –
2) Go back to the Cognitive Challenge questions and revise what you want so that you get a YES answer.
START OVER WITH SAD | FOUR FEELINGS INTRO | MANAGEMENT HOME PAGE
