FEAR
You’re feeling: Scared?
Anxious?
Afraid?
Worried?
Because you sense the possibility of negative consequences ahead:
Something bad may happen to you?
Something bad may happen to someone else?
Something bad may happen with a situation?
Yes No
MANAGING FEAR:
THE DESIRE FOR CONTROL
The feeling of fear is based in the anticipation of real or possible negative consequences. Similar to anger, fear can be experienced as a build up (of unresolved worries over a course of time), as a surprise (caught off guard), or anything in-between. Fear, like other feelings, can be experienced on any level of awareness. Regardless of the level of awareness, it originates from the idea or perception that something bad may happen.
You can think fearfully, behave with caution, and you can perceive in such a manner as to look for things to worry about. Those who believe that they need to control life will certainly look for and find things to worry about. In doing so they believe they will reduce fears and increase control.
Thanks to a survival-based ego agenda, we are compelled to establish and maintain control in an effort to reduce or eliminate our fears. Ironically, those who attempt to control others, environments, or situations may be prone to experience anxiety, panic attacks or anger over time as they discover that they cannot control everything around them. When you are in fear of people or situations, you may try to reduce your fears by attempting to gain control. As you gain what you believe to be control, there also exists a possibility of losing it, thus the greater the amount of potential anxiety. When it comes to control, the more you perceive you have, the more you fearfully perceive you can lose—increased worry equals anxiety.
Underlying the experience of fear, you will find that you have identified some type of eventual negative consequence, or danger ahead, and on that level of awareness you are preparing for that eventuality. Fundamentally then, you believe that you are in danger and need to eliminate it. Thus, underlying the experience of fear is desire for control. Understanding the concept of fear in this manner may transform how you deal with it.
Your only real control is related to how you chose to think, what you say, and what you do. Therefore, when considering the challenge, keep in mind that your ability to control external conditions has limitations.
CONTINUE WITH FEAR BACK TO FOUR FEELINGS INTRO
The Cognitive Challenge for FEAR.
1. Identify the danger or negative consequence I am concerned with and degree of likelihood that the negative consequence will happen.
(Suggestion: Write it down, or clearly make a mental note.)
CONTINUE
2. Identify the extent of control (influence) I would like to have.
(Suggestion: Write it down, or clearly make a mental note.)
CONTINUE
3. When I consider the big picture...
is the extent of control (influence) I want integrity-based...
and...
CONTINUE
a) Realistic? YES or NO
b) Reasonable? YES or NO
c) Fair? YES or NO
d) Important? YES or NO
CHOICE
Your NO response to the Cognitive Challenge means a choice is needed to move forward. Choose either...
1) Go to Internal Resolutions – Here you learn to change how you think and possibly make belief system changes.
– OR –
2) Go back to the Cognitive Challenge questions and revise what you want so that you get a YES answer.
START OVER WITH FEAR | FOUR FEELINGS INTRO | MANAGEMENT HOME PAGE
